My mental health has been really bad today. Felt like airs been sucked out of my chest, my heart aches my arms are on fire.
Everywhere I go I hear voices. Like people are on the phone and I can hear them. My mum and daughter mainly, though I hear my neighbours too. Even my sister, nieces.
I hear it coming through my headphones. It's chilling. I just felt so desperate for it to stop. If I had a million I'd give a million to not hear voices again.
They always hit below the belt and knock the air right out of my lungs. Sometimes I shake and my eyes twitch. My adrenaline goes mad but there's nothing to do with it.
I felt terrified today. I called my Care Coordinator three times ready to beg her to put my meds back up. I didn't manage to get through..
I still don't know if it's the level of the depot or the reduction so I text and said, should my mental health be bad in the first week and better the second week or is it the other way round.
I can't remember if I told you or not but I discussed my fear that I was disassociating with my psychologist but we both agree it's sleep walking. Sorry if I've already said that.
Each day is a struggle, such a hard battle with no signs the war is coming to an end anytime soon. My guy supported me all day long.
Without him I'd be so lost. He literally is like a knight in shining armour. He holds on to me while I'm busy pushing him away with my despondency.
I don't know how useful this post has been (if at all). I wish you good mental health.