The fact is people are afraid of different. Let's face it, the only differences between races are hair texture and skin tone.
The truth is that we are afraid of anyone different, not just by the race they are but of the clothes they wear, the colour of their hair and the music they listen to.
Now I've never registered the difference, hence why my parties were so unsuccessful. My friends were all so different they didn't know how to mix with each other and I didn't know how to be friends with one particular style or race etc.
For me I've pretty much always liked variety, like with music. Nobody likes my music taste because I'll play Metallica, Neil Diamond, Justin Bieber, Frank Sinatra, Lily Allen, Eminem, Taylor Swift, Blake Shelton, Nirvana, and a selection of Classical.
So it didn't make for a particularly popular playlist. I didn't care, I don't buckle under pressure to conform and I never understand why people wanted me too.
That said we all have biases based on our threat level or personal ignorance. I remember when I was a kid I used to call my local shop the P*** shop, until my mum heard and went mental.
That said in our white school a black girl joined our class and I was the only one who played with her because just like I don't care what you wear or the colour of your hair, I didn't care about skin tone either because differences in skin tone are just the same as differences in clothing.
So I've never got racism. Didn't understand it like I didn't understand why moshers and townies couldn't be friends. So you're probably thinking I've never been scared of the unknown, I'm not but I get sucked in to stereotypes.
I've been in a few refuges and the perpetrators were very often black men. I've worked in taxi firms, predominantly Asians and almost everyone I conversed with called any white woman a white slag and would be obsessed with getting their own one.
So I got jaded, I told my daughter not to date black or Asian men. I did this to protect her but I deeply regret it. Not that she listened, she's fiery like scary fiery about racism and she was mad and couldn't understand it based on the fact that it was me who taught her racism was abhorrent.
Sometimes when it comes to your children you advise them of things you would never do because I have had and continued to have more relationships with Black and Asian men than White. I felt I could tell good men from bad men regardless of their race and I give every individual the benefit of the doubt.
So why did I give her that advice, I was scared that she would meet a stereotypical character, one that has no respect for white women and women in general. Luckily I didn't stay jaded too long because I KNOW there is good and bad in every single race and not only did I want to continue giving every individual the benefit of the doubt, I wanted my daughter to as well.
There are stereotypes that are based on real people but I believe in white privilege (my daughter opened my eyes to that) and I believe that the media programs us, at least when I was growing up that diffences were bad and uncommon.
People of a certain stereotype are programmed that way through media, music, bad examples and are not held accountable. I don't think I'm racist at all but sometimes I feel uncomfortable seeing mixed race families and it's the craziest most ridiculous thing but I didn't see mixed race families growing up.
Now I advocate mixed race families, I love the differences in culture, skin tone, hair texture, clothes worn, music listened to. Yet I can't deny that we have been programmed to be scared.
There are so many people out their who would never admit to being weary of diffences or feeling uncomfortable because they don't want to be labelled racist but maybe if people were a little more honest and a little less judgemental we could genuinely tackle racism because it's so ridiculous.
United We Stand, Divided We Fall.